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Motoring, hmm… I got done for speeding the other week. I was doing 79mph on a motorway with a 70mph limit.
     OK, so it was a fair cop.
     But the government is considering putting the speed limit up to 80mph in the near future. Better still, I have it on good authority that most police forces ignore anyone doing under 80mph.
     Some people might think that the person who decided to prosecute me, for doing less that 80, is a bit of a git…. I couldn’t possibly comment.

Normally, if you are caught speeding, you get fined £60 and 3 points on your licence. But nowadays they have this new thing where you can either pay the fine and get the points or opt to pay £85 and go on a Speed Awareness course – to be ‘Educated.’ I opted for the course.
     Some people might think that ‘Educating’ those who have strayed off the path of righteousness sounds a bit North Korean… I couldn’t possibly comment.

That brings me to the point. The penalty for speeding is £60 and a black mark on your soul. But if you opt to be ‘Educated’ and cough-up £85, your soul is unblemished. 
     Some people might think that by slipping the hierarchy an extra £25 your licence gets protected… I couldn’t possibly comment. 

Talking of motoring, reminds me… The car park in our local supermarket used to be easy on the eye. All the bays were bordered by bushes and greenery and stuff.
    Then a committee of wise men decided that the shrubs were harbouring rats, so they cut them down. You can’t argue with that.

But they’ve got half a dozen recycling skips in that same car park. Very environmentally friendly. Unfortunately, these skips don’t get emptied often enough. But the bold recycling addicts are not put off by that. They just keep piling their new rubbish on top of the old, overflowing, rubbish. So the whole area ends up looking like a Chinese landfill site.

Guess what? The bush-rats moved across to the skips. In retaliation, the wise have men put rat poison down. So, instead of bush-rats and skip-rats we have dead-rats. Here’s one…

     Some people might think that the wise men are tackling the wrong rodents… I couldn’t possibly comment.